The Puzzle

Everything is but a fleeting moment. It is amazing how one second we can be in one state of existence but then switch so quickly because of a single word, breath, or question. So many things have crossed my mind, creating contradictions and puzzles. Life is but a labyrinth, constantly throwing you back into confusion as to not make you forget of life's complications. I see people get frustrated over the journey that life takes us, we want it to be easy, simple, and not make us question why we are here. We forget that from the challenges comes understanding, so if we weren't thrown into chaos, where would happiness come from? As they say, only in darkness can we see the light, so ultimately we need to be in this never ending puzzle to reap any benefits from life? 


Rain and Sun

Sorry I’ve been away for awhile but I’ve been realizing things and dealing with built up emotions.

Why is it that one minute the world can appear to me a magical forest and then the next minute it is a dark cloud engulphing the world that you knew. I don’t understand it, feeling every emotion so raw in my body makes me feel ever so distant from existence. The feeling paralyzes me and I am left to sulk under warm sheets, protecting me from the world above. For moments at a time I can breathe in cool and crisp air, but as soon as it had begun I am left to breathe that old, hot scent. 

It is a constant battle against the angel and devil, never leaving you be to get a moment’s rest. It is useless fighting, so we give up to our mind’s game and let the outcome unveil itself. One day it might be rain, another might have sun. 



Finding Yourself

Ever since I was little I have tried putting a concrete name to the kind of person I am and it never felt right. Even now I struggle to know who I really am because one day I might wake up with a completely different outlook on life and not even know how to dress because I don't even know my own style. I never understood how a person can stay consistent with their own persona because mine is constantly shifting. With that being said it makes it hard to maintain motivation to do things because my desires and goals are always changing so I've struggled to stay on one path. 

The one thing I have realized is that trying to mold yourself to be a certain way to either trick yourself into thinking you are a certain kind of person or to gain respect from others only makes it more complicated in the long run. Embrace your chaos. Embrace not knowing who you are and just do what feels right in the moment. If something feels off change it. Don't spend time trying to please others because you need validation that you are something. You are born special and even if your path isn't clear or you don't even know how to describe yourself let that be your strength because it will give you more freedom in finding your true passion. Live more in the moment and listen to yourself even if it seems like you are all over the place. Live freely and live honestly.


Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.
— Bruce Lee

A Few Words to the New Year

With the new year having made its way here I have found a strong feeling already setting in. Honestly it's been a hard couple of weeks but remaining hopeful and positive goes a long way. I am in the process of flushing out any negative feelings, people, and it is harder than it seems. I give people who have cleared themselves of anything pulling them down a lot of credit because it takes a lot to transform a soul. I have found that zoning out with either painting, reading or writing lets me block out the world that I need a break from, so I encourage anyone who is going through the same thing to try and do something that helps you block everything out in a healthy way. 

Living for today is something I am working on, something that I have always struggled with. If anyone out there is also working on bettering themselves and being more open spiritually, I encourage reaching out. Big things are coming and that knowing drives me to work even harder. If you feel a drive inside you that you can't explain, follow it. Revealing what it hides can only release you from the grasp of the millions of hands holding you down. With the new year I hope it will inspire you to go out and take a risk, follow a dream and feed your soul. We are more than just bodies, we have a beautiful and unknown power within us and it is up to ourselves to release it.



Love yourself enough to work harder.
— Anonymous

Open Diary

For as long as I can remember I have followed what other people have wanted for me. I have done so out of respect because I believed others to be wise about what I should do with my life, yet I never gave myself the chance to listen to what my soul was telling me. For the first time I am standing up for myself and trying to listen to my intuition. By refusing to listen to that voice inside of me I have restricted myself from truly growing. The truth is that it's terrifying going after the unknown. I am going after dreams blindly, without a known outcome, but life really is never known. There are just certain things that seem to give people a more "secure" vision on their future so they refuse to take the risk of discovering more. I know that I have a higher purpose and even though I am more than terrified of the future I know I have to keep going. Even through all the pain and uncertainty I feel a part of me unlocking that I have always lacked. I am deciding to trust the universe and work hard to manifest positivity into my life. New doors are opening and old ones closing but I just can't let myself give up. During this time I ask for patience, compassion and understanding, because this is the hardest time I've ever gone through. The "safe" side of my brain is yelling and screaming but there is a deep knowing inside me that tells me I am on the right path and that good will come out of the sacrifice and pain. I hope that from this I learn and grow in ways I never have. Love and light to all of you.


A New Chapter

With my last day of high school under my belt I can say that I welcome a new part of my life with open arms. I believe the life ahead of me offers many adventures, but a challenge will meet me in every one. I don't expect things to be easy, but with hard work I hope to manifest the life I know I am meant to have. I hope to live everyday and not regret the things I could've done but have at least tried to accomplish my dreams. This year has been a memorable one, I've met truly genuine people and have made friends that will last a lifetime. I believe the people that surround you have a great impact on the life you live, so I am truly grateful for having certain people beside me. 

The path I will choose will be because it will feed my soul, I refuse to conform to become another piece in the long line of dominos. I don't expect people to agree or even believe in me, but I know that following our own intuition can reveal the most beautiful experiences. 


Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence.
— Pope John Paul II

Old Writings (part 1)

I thought I'd pull out one of my old scribblings from a few years ago. I got reminded of my past writings and got inspired to share them. It isn't the best but maybe I'll post one every now and then. Enjoy ;)

She walks through the forest with stars in her eyes. She lets the branches gently swift against her arms while the leaves brush against her golden face. As she runs through the fields, the flowers turn deep purple and burning orange while the sky swirls into hues of blues, pinks, greens and yellows. The clouds come together to form figures to tell a hidden story. Every time she blinks her environment changes and she is in a new reality. She is lost yet she is found, and she allows the confusion to take her down the rabbit hole, with circling shadows and mind tricks. Her body is a mountain, reaching for the heavens. Suddenly she is the ocean, becoming one with every movement of the pink waves. Her energy shifts to different forms and each time her consciousness expands. Her inhale brings in every thing that ever was, but her exhale gives out what ever will be. The mystical wonder causes her to travel all around her inner soul and beyond. As soon as it started it all seemed to end, and her eyes flickered open. 12/02/2015


How to Start Listening To Your Soul

Sometimes it's hard to be conscious of your body and mind when the busy lives we lead take almost all of our energy. Even through all the noise and emotions we experience throughout the day it is important to develop an awareness of what it is your soul is lacking. If you're constantly tired, unmotivated, or the sky just always looks grey your soul could be telling you something. I've always felt what I used to believe was depression, but when I became in tune with my body and got the necessary help, the grey cleared up and I realized what I had was not depression but distance between my soul and body. Of course I want to put a disclaimer that depression does exist but I do think it is over diagnosed. If we all put more effort into quieting the outside world and finding the light inside our own bodies I believe we would all feel a substantial surge of energy and life. So if you think you're feeling depressed but don't think you have depression, check out my tips to hopefully get out of whatever place you may be in. :)

1.) Trance Dance

The name sounds new age and cheesy, but it does get your mind to let go of all the weight on your shoulders. What you have to do is put on a song that makes you feel freedom pour out of you and allows the weight of the world to be suddenly lifted. Maybe one day I'll share my playlist if any of you guys are finding it hard to get that one song that lets your inner soul flow. After you put on the sound that stirs your being, just start moving. Start off small and then move to movements that carry your spine in a circular motion, letting your limbs go loose and just move to the music. Try to let go of the feeling that you look stupid or that what you're doing is silly because the ability to let go of the weight of everything is something that we aren't accustomed to and must therefore be trained to do. Just throw every bad thought, feeling or event up into the air and let it disappear. I highly highly encourage trance dancing to find the goddess/god within us.

2) Talk to someone or yourself

Talking is a great way to let out any frustrations without internalizing what's going on. If you have a designated person you tend to go to and even if you don't this is a great way to let go of daily aggravations. I find that talking to myself, as crazy as it may seem to some people, allows me to voice things that are underlying issues of something else that may have happened. Talking gives you a chance to avoid bottling up emotions and risk having it explode at any given moment. Holding in anger and negative emotions is not only detrimental for one's mental state but it also affects the body negatively and starts impacting physical and inner health. Since people today struggle with communication, voicing what's wrong to either yourself or someone else can also help train ourselves to be more open to communication. 

3) Read or Write

I feel like this is said a lot by people but I can't emphasize how true it is. Pouring out feelings onto a page can help reveal what your soul needs or wants. Sometimes thoughts get so crazy and blurred that it's hard to read what it is that we are lacking. Therefore by letting words out onto a page it makes it easier to notice trends and make sense of what you are thinking and feeling. Yet if it's hard to write or face an issue, reading can be a healthy distraction and may even give you insight on how to deal with a problem. Stories or any book on a topic that interests you can help create a sense of calm and quiet to allow your soul to come out. The purpose of reading or writing is to try and distance yourself from things that are bringing you down in order to focus more on your own self and harbor the means that it takes to grow.

4) Stretch

Every time I am upset or don't feel like myself and I happen to stretch I get this feeling of self awareness that instantly makes things a little better. Getting your body to move can awaken your muscles and get your mind to focus on breath with the slow and steady movements. Also, taking notice of how you breathe and letting the air fill your lower abdomen can also help relieve some stress and anxiety. Staying put for too long isn't good for your circulation and stretching helps get the blood flowing again and even provides a nice boost of energy. Giving  yourself time to stretch out any muscles will help with mental clarity and will hopefully inspire the idea of slowing down and taking a breath in this fast world.



When you make the finding yourself - even if you’re the last person on Earth to see the light - you’ll never forget it
— Carl Sagan

Setting Boundaries

For a long time I only focused on the negative things life had to offer. I would just wake up and go about my day without any passion or drive to change the homeostasis that I was in. Even when something significant would happen to me it was never enough to wake me up from the mindset that I was in. Up until recently I decided that I was done "feeling normal" and that I wanted to feel the power and energy I knew existed somewhere. I watched countless documentaries, read books, and tried to follow what advice my inspirations had given. I'm trying to tune out of the daily frequency we live on and find the things that our current generation have lost. Becoming more intuitive and taking the time to listen to our environment in my experience has created a sense of higher purpose. Maybe it's just the kind of person I am, but I can't live passively. I see peers of mine swallowed by normalcy and they want to desperately change but never do. That's why on this page I want it to be a safe environment, where anyone can distance themselves from the entities that drag them down and try to get in tune with themselves. I want this to be a raw conversation about daily struggles and finding our souls amidst the noise and confusion today.


People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.
— Thomas Szasz

Just a Thought...

One thing I constantly run into is how people believe their lives are meant to encompass modern slavery. The institutionalized structured life that almost everyone leads around me makes me think that there must be a way out. It's not possible that our souls came to this earth in each of our specific bodies to simply work, live a mediocre life and carry the belief that our children will do better. Not to say that there aren't people that are happy with that life, but all I'm saying is that there needs to be a widespread awakening that society isn't functioning as it should. I get upset watching people become consumed by their consumerism, not realizing the unhealthy impact on their own life and the planet. We each become just another domino in a long line of unsatisfactory acceptance.

The world lacks kindness, honesty and the connection between body and soul. One thing I've had to learn, and still struggle with, is detaching myself from the material world we live in and get in touch with the soul that knows that there is beauty somewhere and that it exists on this earth. It takes a lot of work to distance oneself from all that you know and to embrace the instinctual knowledge that lies in thousands of years of evolution. We were not meant to destroy our own kind and everything around us for the sake of comfort. Comfort is knowing that you are living a full and true life, regardless of how society has conditioned you to view materialism as comfortable. Hopefully in this journey to find the other side of life I inspire at least one person to listen to their wild soul. 


"Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored."
-Earl Nightingale